How to Make It Happen (Finding Opportunities to Travel, Even as You Get Older)

Always a Traveler, Never an Ex-Pat

Rome with my then boyfriend, now husband (2012). Our first big trip!

One thing I learned about myself, through my time in the Peace Corps and my longer trips (one month or more) is that while I love live on the road and would like to have more time to travel, I do not want to be a nomad or an ex-pat.  I have always loved the idea of an ex-pat life and of traveling with no end date in sight, but if I wanted those things in life I would make it happen.  As I said, I love my job and my life with my husband.  I love having a home and a community.  I truly admire those nomads who wander the world for years on their own, and/or those who manage to make their home aboard, but that life is not for me.  Knowing that about myself, I am able to focus on what I want, my next trip!

Note: I consider myself to be a traveller, not a tourist. 

Travel Companions

I have also found as I have gotten into my 30s that it is difficult to find others to travel with.  This is for many reasons 1) the older we get the more responsibilities we have and demands on our time and money, 2) even if you have friends or a partner that have the time and money to travel your schedules may not align, 3) even if your schedules align they may not want to go the places you want to go or travel in the same style you like to travel in.

My husband is not a great lover of rough and tumble travel and not a huge fan of being off the grid.  We love to visit cities, renting an apartment and wandering the back alleys together, eating street food and stopping for a drink whenever the mood strikes.  But he would have hated the hut I stayed at on the beach in Colombia (no electricy, no running water, and no door!), even though I loved it.  I love being off the grid and travelling in all different ways (from home stays to hosteling to fancy hotels), and I love having a husband who is supportive of me taking time do things that I love, even when they do not include him. 

Loving Uruguay. 2015.

Work

Being in my mid thirties, I do have a career that I love.  I have worked hard to achieve this career, but it does not include much travel and certainly no international travel. But I found opportunities to travel, for longer than two weeks, none the less! I have taken a trip every time I changed jobs.  That is my first and best recommendation for finding time to travel.  When you life is in transition, grab your passport and head to the airport! 

I also save up all my vacation to take at once, using existing holidays to make my time last longer.  I am often planning a trip over Thanksgiving or the Christmas/New Years Holidays (though not both because I do want to spend time with my family) to get more time and miss the least amount of work.  I also have taken time off with our pay or used different companies policies to get more time, even if costs me some money. 

I also have to enlist the cooperation of my manager and coworkers. I always support them when they are away to garner good will.  But my main recommendation is not to ask for permission (no one wants  you to be out of the office for 5 weeks even if it is technically allowed).  Instead of asking permission, I simply tell them my plan and give them a list of everything I will complete before I leave.  Assuring your office that you will not leave them hanging makes everyone feel much more cooperative.  It can be very stressful to get ready for a big trips, but I do what I can to make it work  so that to spend my time off the way I want to! 

Setting Your Priorities

If you make travel a priority in your life, you will make it happen. Maybe not as often as you might like, but you will make it happen. For me travel is my great joy and one of the greatest pleasures of my life.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of some incredible place or wonderful moment I experienced on the road.  My head and my heart are full of with these great experiences (the Albanian man who drove 20 miles out of his way to take me where I wanted to go and would not except a dime from me, the incredible meal my husband and I shared looking at the twinkling lights of Buenos Aires from across the Rio de la Plata, the view from the fortress in Bled, Slovenia with a landscape so beautiful it made me laugh uncontrollably, sleeping on the Sahara Desert sand under the stars, watching the band at a Gypsy music festival in Istanbul interrupt their set to pray).  I want more of these memories, this is where I choose to spend my time and money.  I am not an extravagant person, I save my money, I am responsible, this is where I choose to treat myself.  

I am also fully aware that I am able to make these choices because we do not have kids.  Although many people find a way to travel, and travel far, even when they have children.  I admire them; I hope to be them some day.

Why Travel Solo? Other People are Great, Sometimes

Traveling alone will teach you, quickly, how to take care of yourself in a safety/survival way and how to do what pleases you. 

Bogota, Colombia. 2015

I find that by following my own travel and safety guidelines, which I have developed after 2 years in the Peace Corps (Ukraine 05-07) more than 10 years of travelling solo (as well as many trips with family, friends and now my husband), that I can move through the world feeling secure and free to explore!

Doing Things Because You Want To! 

The great gift of travelling solo is not needing to justify your decsions to anyone.  When you travel alone, not only do you not need reasons to justify your choices, you don’t even need reasons!  One of the most freeing aspects of my first solo trip was decideding to go to Sarajevo just because.  I was in eastern Europe, and Sarajevo was a city that just captured me.  I was drawn to it for no reason that I could name and I didn’t know what there was to see or do there.  I just went. 

Sarajevo was stunningly beautiful, had a fascinating history, delicious food and some of the best café culture and live music I have ever heard.  I spent an entire afternoon eating a kilo of perfectly ripe cherries and watching old men play chess with life size pieces.  I met people my own age who spent their entire childhoods underground during the war and marveled at the red paint splotches that littered the streets, marking where bombs had detonated.  I saw the exact spot where Franz Ferdinand was shot, inciting World War 1.  I heard a symphony of catholic and orthodox church bells and the Islamic call to prayer simultaneously ring out simultaneously.  And if someone had asked me the simple of question of why, I never would have gone there.

Choosing to Travel Alone-Sometimes it Chooses You

Exploring the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul with the Aussie Girls, 2008.

I love traveling in general, and I take special pleasure in traveling alone.  However, I went on my first 5 week trip solo trip by accident.  I was planning to meet up with a friend in Istanbul and then back pack through Eastern Europe, but she got sick and was never able to meet me.  I was completely freaked out that first day, and mind you this is after two years of Peace Corps, living on my own.  I had been on many international trips, gotten from point A to point Z by myself a million times and felt very capable, but the idea of spending my days alone truly did not appeal to me.  I remember telling my friend, “I know you like traveling by yourself, but it is just not for me.”  Famous last words. 

That first night I was on my own, I felt weird going to a restaurant alone, so I found a kebab stand in the old part of Istanbul for dinner. While waiting for my kebab to be assembled and my fresh orange juice to be squeezed, I met two Aussie girls (there is an Australian in every town in the world I am sure of it) and we made a plan to meet up the next day at the same spot at noon to explore.  The next day they were there and we spent a great afternoon wandering the markets and sampling Turkish delight.  We took tons of ridiculous pictures which still take up memory on my computer and traded travel stories.  We talked about hanging out again but did not make any firm plans.  I never saw them again. 

I still remember these two Aussie gals well (though I forgot their names years ago), and they are important people to me in away because they made me feel comfortable in a new place when I was very nervous and they showed me at just the right moment in time how easy it is to meet new people when on the road.  Wherever they are I hope they are well and having great adventures!

Why Does Traveling Alone as a Woman Requires Being Bad Ass? An Un-nuanced and Insufficient Explanation

"Captaining" a ship on the Bosphorus, Istanbul, 2008

Traveling alone as a woman requires being bad ass, less because of you, but more because of everyone else.  To provide short, and a completely un-nuanced and insufficient description of the attitudes toward women around the world, I will say that many cultures feel that women need special protecting and/or that they are sex objects to be harassed.  We have absorbed messages through the course of our lives saying that a woman by herself is at risk.  Our parents, our significant others, our friends, our nosy neighbors and strangers alike absorbed these messages too and just want us to stay safe.  The world can be a dangerous place, but it is also a beautiful and exciting place.  It is my experience that by taking basic safety precautions and doing a little planning (but not too much) that a woman can travel in most part of the world safely. 

I think it also bears mentioning that traveling alone for a woman (or a man) is also considered strange, pretty much world wide.  The Aussies (bless them) seem to encourage it, but everyone else thinks you are weird.  The narrative that being alone is lonely, can not yield rich life experiences and is only for weirdo loners is out there.  Many people (more insufficient generalizations coming) think and act this way and strangers (don’t they know they are the strange ones!) who will think that you are strange for wanting to spend time on your own. 

All of these attitudes can make traveling (or living abroad) as a woman more onerous, but on the flip side it also makes traveling alone as woman an impressive and rebellious act.  Shedding some of that cultural baggage and doing what makes you happy is bad ass!  I commend you! An amazing club of bad ass lady travelers who have come before you commend you!  Welcome to the club!

Hanging out in China, 2009.  (Pictured alone because other people might not want their photos on the interwebs)

Subjects Covered On This Blog (though not necessarily in this order)

1. Why Travel and Why Travel Solo
2. Making it Happen (Finding Opportunities to Travel Solo, Even as you Get Older)
3. When your Inner Alarm Bells are Go Off-Keeping Yourself Safe
4. Before You Leave Your Homeland: Recommendations for Getting Out the Door Ready to Go
5. Trip Planning: Plan for Success-But not Too Much!
6. My Best Advice For your First Day in Country (And Fighting Jet Lag)!
7. Packing “Strategery”-Recommend Items to Bring with You
8. Medical Stuff
9. What’s In My Purse/Day Pack
10. Keeping Your Stuff Safe
11. Money Management
12. Off the Grid-Technology Will Fail You (That Might be a Good Thing)
13. Meeting People
14. Other Female Travel Bloggers-In Case I Missed Anything

Why Does this Blog Have So Many F****** Entries?!: An Introduction

Carpathian Mountains, Ukraine, 2007.

My sister-in-law is planning her first solo trip abroad and asked for my advice.  I sat down to write out a list of my Top 10 tips and tricks to help guide her.  Ha-larious.  After hours on the phone with her, talking through itineraries, tips on changing money, strategies for dropping jet lag like its hot, what to bring on the plane and my top safety tips, I realized I a lot to say on the subject of women traveling alone.  In fact, it is one of my favorite subjects.  Traveling alone and living abroad turned me into the bad-ass lady I always wanted to be, my sister-in-law wanted that for herself and I wanted to help her as much as I could (in addition to traveling, helping others also earns you a bad-ass lady merit badge in my book). 

It was really fun for me to share stories and help her plan and feel more comfortable on her first solo trip.  After two years in the Peace Corps in Ukraine and traveling to more than 45 countries (more than 20 of them by myself), I may not be the most experienced or hardcore traveler in the world, but I have learned A LOT.  I also think I lend a unique perspective to the travel blog world as someone who truly loves to travel, but has not made it their entire life.  I have a husband and a career, and take travel whenever I can.  I decided to write down all of the best advice I have used and learned on my adventures.  I hope this information will help other women to grab opportunities when they can and go see the world as so many others have inspired me.  I created this blog to give the most comprehensive view I can about traveling: the annoying, the necessary, the interesting and the spectacular.  I hope you enjoy the journey!

Why is this blog so f****** long?! Because there is a lot to think about when striking out on one of your first international trips or first solo trip.  

First Step: Don’t be Intimidated by this Super Long Blog! Here is why:

Morocco Bound, 2014

I realize that this blog looks like a long list of recommendations, dos, don’ts and things to buy that might seem discouraging to someone who is contemplating or planning their first solo trip. Here is what I say to that:

1. Taking the right steps to keep myself safe, and to a lesser extent my things safe, is the biggest thing that gives me the confidence to go out and see the world and truly enjoy it! 
2.  There are dangerous people and places in the world (though the world is much safer than it seems on the news) and accidents do happen.  Spending the money on the right equipment, a place you feel comfortable staying and expending some energy on your personal safety will improve your trip immensely, and hopefully make you feel free to go any place you desire. 
3. Once you get set up for your first big solo trip, you will need very little for future trips and you will figure out what YOU truly need to take with you. (Use my list and those from other blogs as a guide.) 
4. The more you travel, the more comfortable you will feel!  You will more data to figure out which of these recommendations are right for you and you will have already spent pre-travel brain space on what to bring and where to go.  
5. I am giving you my best advice from my experiences, if something doesn’t fit for you just don’t follow it.  I respect your choice to listen you your own voice and do what works for you.